Saturday, 9:50 AM, June 13, 2015,
Research Vessel, Offshore, Lunada Bay
“We’re gonna
need a bigger research grant,” Professor Syn Soren recoiled from her microscope
like it was going to bite her head off.
“What?” cabin
boy Bobby Torkil asked.
“The chemicals
the sex organs of this seaweed secrete have changed. Things don’t change this
fast!” Professor Soren stood bolt upright.
“Does this have
anything to do with the seepage from the crack in the sea floor? Does this
confirm the imminency of an 8.0 earthquake?” Torkil frowned.
“If I am seeing
what I think I’m seeing, I WISH for an 8.0 to open a fissure to swallow up and
boil this monster before it can spread! This seaweed wants to have sex with
you!” Professor Soren declared.
“Why me?!”
Torkil shrieked.
“Not just you!
Everybody! It used to secrete a chemical to attract its sperm to its eggs. Now
it wants to penetrate the cell walls of any cell, any species it encounters. This seaweed is
extremely horny,” Professor Soren put the specimen in the autoclave to kill it.
“Viagratized
seaweed,” Torkil scratched his head and tried to imagine it.
The First
Officer slid down a pole from the deck above.
“Professor! Some
surfers are beating the shit out of Ivar!” First Officer Kettil reported.
~ To Be Continued ~
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